I am posting this early as I will be traveling back to Dallas tomorrow from a nice vacation in NM.
I really enjoyed this chapter and could identify with a lot of things the author wrote. The first lie that spoke to me was #8 I need to learn to love myself. Reading her words made me realize something I already knew but I just didn't want to accept. Now, I don't believe we need to take the truth/lie to the extreme and not spend any time to ourselves or for ourselves, but we do need to be more aware of others. We need to realize that no matter how much time we spend on ourselves or loving ourselves we will never be ready to fully help others. It's true we are selfish people and waiting until we love ourselves enough to be there for others is an unrealistic and foolish line of thinking. It will never happen. As she says, "...we need to give others the same attention and care we naturally give ourselves."
Lie #9 was more of a reinforcement of us being responsible for our own choices. This redeemed the author in my eyes since I had such a hard time with her previous comment about leading others to sin.
Lie #10 was confusing, I am not certain if it is because I have been so influenced by society and expect my rights. However, in my mind I don't think there is anything wrong with expecting your spouse to love you, or to be valued. Sometimes these things have to be worked towards but I don't feel we need to go through life settling for less and allowing ourselves to wallow in self doubt or low self esteem.
Lie #11 I really liked how she pointed out that no where in the bible does it say that outward appearance doesn't matter, but the excessive time spent worrying about beauty is the sin. I had also never thought of a lack of taking care/time of our physical beauty would embarrass our husbands. He's supposed to accept you no matter what but I can see how it would be hard for him to want to go out with you if you are an embarrassment.
Lie #12 about unfulfilled longing was also something that I can find applicable. Too often our society is about instant gratification. My weakness is wanting to buy that book right away and not wait to see if I can get it from the library or wait until the next check. However, I do realize this issue in my life and am sometimes successful with resisting the temptation and waiting until a better time to purchase the item. Learning to live and be content with unfulfilled longing will be harder though. I want what I want now.
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Hey everyone!
Sorry it has taken me so long to get last weeks review posted, but apparently I'm not the only one who has been distracted. I know Ana said that we don't need to get to personal to review these books together, but I find it hard to just critique the writing & content when there is so much here I can be applying to my life. So, Since I barely know some of you, and the others are my loved & trusted family I am going to be a bit more real in here because I think I might just have a chance to grow from it and you guys might be able to shed some light on things I'm missing.
I really enjoyed reading this chapter, had to read it twice to make sure I got it all. The LIES covered in here hit home for me in so many places that I was surprised. IT would be so easy to give a quick, flippant review of what I read here, but I was so moved by some of this that I can't do that.
#7 & #11: I'm Not Worth Anything & Physical Beauty Matters More: These two are so easy to fall for and I can honestly say I have fought these lies most of my life. My own view of myself, my own comparing myself to the models set for us in the media and listening to negative remarks from others have always distracted me from God's view of me. My husband has played a huge role in allowing me to see myself through the eyes of someone who loves me for me and not for all the outward things this world focuses on. I honestly believe that one of the biggest reasons that God brought Charles into my life was for this purpose. I don't know that I would ever have been able to get past all my negative focus on myself to see God's love (which is sometimes hard to feel when you are wallowing in self pity) if I hadn't had Charles' example in the physical world. I still fight these Lies daily, but at least I know the Truth ... its up to me if I listen to it. (Oh side note, at the end of the chapter with the reference verses she used. 1Peter 2:9 is not in reference to how precious WE are to God, but rather if you read the footnotes and context Peter is referring to how precious Jesus is to God...I think, if I'm right I was slightly irked that she didn't read the entire context)
#8. I Need To Learn To Love Myself: Boy oh Boy is this a huge LIE in the mainstream media nowadays! Just listen to Oprah or Dr. Phil and you'll see why so many people by into this lie, they make it sound so good & right. Ana really summed up my thoughts on this one very well, besides my general disgust with mainstream media! :)
#9. I Can't Help The Way I Am: Heh, this one is also so easy to fall for. "Its in my genes to be short & overwieght" ... thats my favorite when I'm feeling sorry for myself and eating too much since I can't fight how I was born anyhow. But I have a question ... So I recognize this as a Lie, why can't recognizing it make it easier to fight back? What other Lie am I believing that makes it so easy to quit a diet, to give up or not put in the extra effort to exercise more? I know there must be a lie in there somewhere, but I think I have blinders on, any ideas...I promise not to take offense.
#10. I Have My Rights: I was also a bit confused by this one. As a born and raised Republican in the Greatest Country on the Planet (ok, I'm biased) I have been very well indoctrinated into the whole Rights Lie. While I accept the Truth that yielding our rights is more like what Jesus would do in most situations, I have trouble with some of her arguements. I really believe that women should have the rights they fought for during the early feminist movement, just as black people did when they fought for their freedom & rights.
The problem here I think isn't that we shouldn't have fought those battles, but rather that we shouldn't have needed to. Due to the fallen nature of our world certain groups of people have always been oppressed in one way or another. In having to fight those battles I think we have sometimes gotten carried away. For instance, the ACLU ... what started as a group to monitor all people being treated equally in all ways has now turned into an organization who's goal is to give anyone who is a minority (aka not a White Heterosexual Man) a headstart or hand out against their competition. This is not how it should have ended up, they should be making sure that people are not oppressed but to say that they deserve a certain # of jobs in each company or placements in each college, etc is doing the minorities an injustice. By doing this they have created whole generations that expect these freebies and advantages as their Rights rather than something they can attain through their own hardwork and diligance.
So anyhow, #10 touched a bit of a nerve for me due to my privilged upbringing in a free country. I’m not sure just how objective I can be on this one.
#11. Physical Beauty … I touched on this one at the top…but let me just say, I HATE the media and the awful influence they have on the shaping of our children’s minds!!!
#12. I Should Not Have To Live With Unfulfilled Longings: This chapter was a good reminder for me. I never really thought I’d suffer from this Lie, but I do. Longings for more children, more security, to have my brother healthy again, etc etc … I guess deep down I feel its ok to long for these things as long as I don’t focus on them so much that I forget to be living the life God intends for me. The hard thing is fighting the disappointment that goes with the “unfulfilled” part and the temptation to be angry with God when He doesn’t say “Yes”. I know that only God can fill my heart completely and yet I just can’t let go of some of these for more than a short period of time. Does that ability come with age/wisdom?
So there’s my very longwinded 2 cents on the chapter :).
Angela, I just want to say thank you for your open post. Reading through what you wrote reinforced some of my own thoughts. It also made me look for deeper lies that I believe, especially in regards to the unfulfilled longings.
Right now one my unfulfilled longings is to have a clear plan for my future. To have a job for my husband lined up and a place of our own to move to. This whole thing has taught me even more to trust God and bring me closer but my longings are to know right away.
Chapter 3
I just want to make mention of a few things that I highlighted.
pg.73 I am so happy that she wrote that we can all make the personal choice to make good choices. It is totally up to us. I think the key is to keep our eyes fixed on Jesus always, and then when our circumstances change, or things happen it will be easier to make good choices. And I think that it makes it easier to make good choices when are steady in the word, and are praying and talking to him in the good and bad times. I guess when I think of this, I think I would not want a friend who only came to me when they were struggling or going through a hard time. But I would want a friend who took interest in me for the normal day to day things as well.
pg.76 we need to yield all our rights to the One that ultimately holds all the rights.
pg.85 we need to recognize that we will always have unfulfilled longings on this side of heaven
pg.86 God made each of us in a way that we can never be truly satisfied with anything or anyone less than Him. I think this is so true for women especially. I think often times women go into marriage thinking that the man will fulfill something deep inside of them. The only person who can ever fill that is God.
I must agree with Angela as well when she talked about Charles helping her to see herself through the eyes of someone who really loves her. Tony has done the same for me. He loves me for me and not all the things that this world focuses on.
Just checking if it will let me post
Yeah! Now that I remember how this works, Like I said in my e-mail, I have not been going through the book as faithfully as I thought that I should. I have now finished Chapter 3, and am really excited about what I am learning.
I found it interesting what she said in that we are not to learn to love ourselves, for we already do love ourselves. We need to learn to accept God's love for us and to pass that love on to others as we are called to do.
Another one that really stuck out to me was that physical beauty is not asimportant as inner beauty. I would have never thought of this as one for me, as I rarely take care of my self like I should. But looking back on it now, I can see that this is the case becaue I am wondering what people think of the way that I am dressed, the way my greasy hair looks, or the fact that I don't wear makeup. The one paragraph that hit me was this one:
Do you know who you are? God made you a woman. Accept His gift. Don't be afraid to be feminine and to add physical and spiritual loveliness to the setting where He has placed you. Youare a child of God. Youare a part of the bride of Christ. YOu belong to the Kind - you are royalty. Dress and conduct yourself in a way that reflects your high and holy calling. God has called you out of this world's system - don't let the world press you into its mold. Don't thing, dress, or act likt ehte world; inwardly and outwardly, let others see the difference He mades in your life.
I read that to Scott, and he asked what stuck out the most. I told him the part that says we are royalty. He then asked me to write down three characteristics of royalty. I wrote self discipline, self confident, and desire to bless others as we have been blessed.
You know, I kind of had to laugh as I was writting this. I found out while I was doing some cross-stitches for my daughters that Lydia, our youngest, her name means woman of royalty. I pray she will grow up learning that she is a princess and is truely royalty as a daughter of God, which is more important than any earthly legacy.
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