Chapter Four

Wow. I can't believe how much this chapter has talked to me, in fact I can't help but think about finding some way to put up Psalm 32 so that it can be a constant reminder of the blessing and relief that God gives us when se confess what we have done wrong. The three lies that spoke out to me the most were I can sin and get away with it. My sin isn't really that bad. I cannot walk in consistant victory over sin.

I would like to write the prayer I wrote for Psalm 32:1-5. I already read this to Scott, and he said "Amen!"

Lord there is so much in this passage. Oh the blessings we receive from you upon our confession. The terrible weight keeping our hearts down is lifted. Is this what is causing my depression? I know Scott has mentioned that I am also unergoing a spiritual battle. Lord, help me to be like "Cheryl" confessing that I cannot do this on my strength. Help me to know youar strong and able hands are there to lift me up. Lord, I know there have been oh so many sins that I have committed, the most common is lieing. I thank you for giving me the strength and courage to start telling Scott the truth. I pray it will not be too long before he feels he can trust me again. Help me to be the wife and mother you have called me to be. I thank you for the dvds that have helped me to know how to show respect o Scott better, but that still has a long way to go on both our parts.

This is my prayer, and if you feel led to be praying for us, pray that our marriage will strengthen and that God will be the center of our marriage as he is the only thing we know will be the constant in it all. Pray that we will learn about each other and that we will have a willingness to share it without feeling threatened or that the other person may not really care. Pray for our kids as I know that this can not be an easy time for them with mommy going through so much, but that this will actually be a time of learning for them and that they will know in the future that seeking help is not something to be afraid of doing.

Chapter 4 Comments from Joan

Dear Ladies,
Due to a bad cold & cough, I am also home this morning from church. I hope your knee heals quickly, Eva.
Yesterday I finally finished chapter 4 - I guess there's a good side to having a cold. :)
Since my last blog was super long, I just want to note a few things in point form that God has been teaching me.
1. Satan tells the same lies to us today as he did to the first woman on earth.
2. Most of us don't think our natural, fleshly choices will be fulfilled by consequences in our lives
3. Sometimes God delays divine retribution because He wants us to repent
4. Sin is sin, no matter if it's murdering someone or telling a lie
5. Many prefer to see their sins as "weaknesses"
6. God considers every sin as rebellion against Him
7. The Bible doesn't state we need to forgive ourselves
8. All Christians feel they need to atone for their sins
9. Praise the Lord! His blood on the cross has atoned for all my sins of the past, present & future - I don't need to do "good" things to be forgiven in His sight. Yes, good works will follow as I submit myself to Him and obey Him.
10. As Christians we often play the blame game to diminish our own responsibility in a matter
11. We will only be free from guilt when we accept full responsibility for our actions & attitudes
12. Our "flesh" will continue to wage war against the Spirit of God living within us until the day we die!
13. Satan would have us believe we cannot walk in consistent victory over temptation & sin
14. We, as humans, are powerless to change ourselves.
15. Only through Christ's finished work on the cross can we live in victory over sin
16. The only means of eternal salvation is through placing our trust in what Jesus did for us on the cross, when He died in our place. Therefore, when we confess our sins, turn away from them and place our trust (believe) in Jesus we are truly saved from eternal condemnation.
I look forward to reading more comments from you.
Have a blessed Sunday!
Joan

Chapter Four

Its Sunday morning, and instead of being at church, I'm at home with an ice pack on my knee. On the way to the car, I slipped on a patch of ice and banged up my knee (sent my shoe flying) and bruised both hands. I opted on staying at home and having a devotional with God instead.

I read the comments written by others on Chapter Four and find it interesting how God is using this book to reach out to where we as individuals are at. We all seem to agree with the statement that "the reason people disobey God is that they believe they can get away with it". Amazing how we have bought into this, and how true as well. I appreciate how DeMoss has been able to clearly pinpoint the consequences of sin and why I need to repent.

I see the importance of telling others that "you are solely and personally responsible for yur own behaviour, no matter what anyone else does". I need to take ownership of when I feel jilted or slighted, and see beyond of why, to either forgive the person of what they did to me or seek forgiveness from them, not to go into a pity party, justifying my actions of sin. We need to teach our children (and grandchildren) that they are responsible for their actions. I thank God for the wise parents our children are, in that they just don't tell them the action is wrong, but take the time to tell them why it is wrong.

I am looking forward to finding out how we can claim victory over our actions that cause us to sin.

God bless, Eva

Eva wrote:
Chapter 3: lies women believe about themselves.
This chapter was an eye opener for me; some I knew, but could not put a finger on it. I struggled with the verse that says we are to love our neighbour as ourselves, because I thought I didn't love myself very much. My older siblings used to tease me that because my ose was completely different from the others, I really wasn't one of them, but was found under a rock. I would seek assurance from my parents, but they just laughed. Innocent fun that left an identity scar. I didn't feel like I belonged, and was continually looking for acceptance from others. But Jesus was rejected by men, and CHOSEN by God. Wow! I know I too am chosen by God, but to know that Jesus can identify with how I feel is awesome! But I still need to learn to love myself so I can love others.
And with learning to love myself, I need to learn to deny myself and recognize that I "will always have unfulfilled longins this side of heaven". And when they hit, I don't need to "stuff myself in an effort to satisfy emotional and spiritual longings, but to learn to be content with unfilfilled longings".

Chapter 3

Hey, I have never done this before, but for people like my mom and I, going into the right hand corner and clicking on new blog is how I did this. If you are looking for the comments I made about Chapter three, I wrote them as comments under Ana's as I had no idea how to do this.

Chapter 5 by Heidi

Well Chapter 5 was a great chapter. I can say that I used to believe Lie #18. And then God showed me a awhile ago, that I was doing to much that I wanted to do and was burning myself out. I do believe that he wants me to do a lot, but through prayer I am finding out what His exact will is. My goal is to make the devil hate my guts. Meaning that I will be an even more effective Christian, because I will be doing exactly what the Lord wants for all areas of my life. And he will hate my guts, because when we walk in total obedience we get so much more done for His Kingdom. It sure makes things easier too. This is something that I already knew, but did not always practice it. :)

Lie #19. I have always believed that I can do nothing without Jesus. I love what she said on page 122. "The essence of Satan's deception is that we can live our lives independently of God. The enemy doesn't care if we believe in God, if we are doctrinally orthodox, or if we fill our schedules with a lot of spiritual activities as long as he can get us to run on our own steam, rather than living in conscious dependence upon the power of the Holy Spirit.. If he can get us to try to live the Christian Life without cultivating an intimate relationship with the Lord Jesus, he knows we will be spiritually impotent and defeated." That is so true. I think as mom's especially we have to start our days in the word and in prayer, so that we can make it through the day. Because being a mom is a hard job. I am so thankful that my parents instilled in me at such a young age, that I have to have Jesus. That I have to have a personal relationship with him, and that my good works would not get me to heaven, or good talk, or just knowing about him, but that it was a personal relationship and that he had to live in my heart.

Lie#20...I think this lie, is one that many woman believe. Being a mom can be such a thankless job. We wear so many hats, and our kids don't always thank us for all that we do. I think that is what drives a lot of moms to work. In the past this is the exact reason for me working. We get a paycheck, thank you's, compliments, etc. I know for me though, I can not work a full time job, be a mom, go to church and be involved there, cook, clean, laundry, get my kids to where they need to go, without it affecting me or someone close to me. More specifically my family. We can not rely on man to fulfill us. We have to rely on Jesus. When we rely on Him to fulfill all our desires and needs, we can be "just moms" and be satisfied. I know that some mom's have to work, or maybe someone is single with children. I have been there, and I know how incredibly tough it is to juggle all that. Even more reason to spend more time in the word to get filled up. :)

Chapter 4 by Heidi

Sorry it has taken me so long to post this. Time goes by way too quickly. I thought I would just touch on some of the things that I highlighted while reading this chapter. I thought it was a great chapter. And I have learned a lot from the book so far. Great choice. :)

• Sin's nature never changes, and it will always come back to bite us. (pg. 92)


• I like the 2 points that she made on page 94: 1) Lack of restraint in one area of our lives makes us more vulnerable to lack of discipline in other, more major areas; and 2) the indulgence we excuse in moderation may well produce in our children a harvest of extreme indulgence.


• I think today's society justifies way to much. And I think if we stopped to think about how our actions hurt the heart of God, or how they can be passed down to the next generation, or how we are teaching our kids, or maybe even how we are affecting other believers...just maybe we could stop and slow down and think about what we are doing. Everything is so Self-Service. And that is the biggest problem, people have become so self-centered instead of God-Centered.


• The way to see the Truth about sin is to see it in the light of who God is. I think that is so true. I know for myself I am constantly trying to line up all that I do with that statement. I still make lots of mistakes. But that is what is so amazing about the grace of God. He picks us back up. He corrects us, and then we keep trucking along.


• (page 108) John 15:5, "Apart from me," Jesus said, "you can do nothing." This is so true. Even though I know this to be so true, I still can get caught up in doing things in my own strength. And I am learning even more so now....I am absolutely nothing without Him. Everything I do is only because he allows me to do it. And because He gives me the strength to do it. I am merely a vessel on this earth.

Chapter 3 Comments from Joan

Where has the time gone? Although Chapter 3 is not exactly fresh in my mind, I would like to comment about a few things I have learned. On page 64 it says, "What we believe about God is crucial because it affects what we believe about everything else...If we do not see Him as He really is -... we will have a distorted view of ourselves." Isn't that the truth? So many times I've allowed thoughts from worldly things - magazines, books, movies, etc cloud my thinking not only about God, but also about myself. I found the comment on page 66 quite enlightening, "Even when the input is, in and of itself, true, the Deceiver can use that data to put us in bondage." What a good reminder for me to watch what I say to my grandchildren and even my children at their advanced age. Satan loves to twist things around and make a person feel inadequate any way he can. May we personally believe the truth - that God declared the value of our soul to be greater than the value of the whole world. John 8:31-32. On page 69 we are reminded that "low self-esteem" is one of the most common diagnoses of our day. It is so important to find our value in God, not in what someone thinks about us - to find our identity in Christ. As it says on page 71, "Our need is not to love ourselves more but to receive His incredible love for us and to accept His design and purpose for our lives. Once we have received His love... we will become channels of His love to others." Personally, being shy since I was young has been very difficult for me. At times I have said, "That's the way I am, I can never change." In reality I know that God can change that area of my life, but I tend to be satisfied with the way I am and not want to allow God to change me. I found the comment on page 74 most interesting..."The fact is, successful relationships and healthy cultures are not built on the claiming of rights but on the yielding of rights." What would our world be like if we did that? Christ didn't claim his rights - he didn't argue with his false accusers, but yielded Himself to death on the cross even though He was innocent. I definitely need to yield all my rights to the One who ultimately holds all rights. Page 80 held a good reminder for me about how I dress, talk and act around others. It says, "Don't think, dress, or act like the world; inwardly and outwardly, let others see the difference He makes in your life... Page 81, "The outward appearance of the Christian woman is to reflect a heart that is simple, pure, and well-ordered; her clothing and hairstyles should not be distracting or draw attention to herself by being extravagant, extreme, or indecent. In this way, she reflects the true condition of her heart and her relationship with the Lord, and she makes the Gospel attractive to the world." A lot of pain and suffering could be avoided if I and others would have followed that advice. In closing I just wanted to comment on something the author said on page 86. She states, "God has made us in such a way that we can never be truly satisfied with anything or anyone less than Himself and that it is not wrong to have unfulfilled longings. We must learn to accept those longings, surrender them to God, and look to Him to meet the deepest needs of our hearts." What a blessing to know that God can and does meet all our needs. When I first got married I thought my husband would meet all my needs, but I soon found out that was not going to be true! It was very disappointing at the time, but at the same time, I could also see that I would never be able to meet all of my husbands needs. :) Praise God, He can meet all of our needs!

Chapter 4

Ladies, I would like to apologize about how long it has taken me to post again. I allowed myself to get caught up in things that were going on around me and let my book reading fall to the wayside.

It feels as though the further I read this book the more applicable to my life it is. I am constantly amazed by the sin in my life that I have never realized was there. Each chapter I read I think wow this is so true!

The first sin that is covered is the belief that we can sin and get away with it. I completely agree with the author that we fall into this because we don't see an immediate reaction/discipline to a sin we just committed. Its not that I don't believe that we won't reap what we sow but looking long term instead of just in the moment is not something I look at when I sin, whether it is consciously or subconsciously.

Some of the sins that the author highlighted and that I highlighted as well are, lack of restraint causes lack of restraint in other areas of life and indulgences we make can also be reproduced in our children. Talk about sin passing on to the next generation. Another on I can see in my life and society is the entertainment of oneself of reading, movies, TV etc. and not always stopping to think of the repercussions. I have gotten better at this but I still stumble. Another big thing is holding a grudge. You never think about how this will affect your life, causing you to be unhappy bitter and stressed out. If we are unhappy and bitter those around us (children) will also be. Not something I want to pass on to my children. My favourite line in this section is, "The Truth is that every choice we make today will have consequences." I think this could stand for both good or bad choices.

The next lie of believing our sin isn't really that bad I feel comes from society (and ourselves) wanting to justify our actions and not see them as sins. Who wants to think that wasting your time, talking to much, overspending, being selfish etc are sins. Those are weaknesses and too many times we push them off as personality traits or even worse in my mind, something we do because of situations in life that have made us that way. Once again it takes away from our responsibility which the author talks about in sin #16. We are responsible for our actions.

The lie of God not being able to or won't forgive my sins is something I struggle with in a different way then described in the book. My struggle is for my repeated sins a small portion of my mind wonders why God continues to forgive my repeated sins and if He will get "tired" of it. This ties into lie #17 I cannot walk in consistent victory over sin. If I already have it in my mind I wont succeed or I believe I am going to sin again, I will.

In closing this book continues to amaze me and open my eyes. I was very skeptical at first but I am very thankful this was the first choice and book read.

Merry Christmas

I just wanted to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas. Hope everyone has a blessed holiday and that this next year be filled with many blessings.

Chapter 2 Musings

Hi ladies! Chapter 2 has been very challenging for me. Being a woman I find it so easy to let my feelings rule. On pg. 50 it says that "we trust what we feel to be true, rather than what we know to be true." Very interesting and insightful. When I think of God loving me it is difficult to think that He would love me without doing anything for Him. I guess it goes back to my wanting approval from my earthly father and when I did something he was proud of he showed it by letting me have or do something I wanted. Praise Him, I do not need to do anything to merit His love! On pg. 53 it says, "Discomfort and unrest are impossible to souls who come to know that God is their Father." As I grow older I can relate with that more because when I was younger I worried so much about so many things. As I spend more time reading God's word and memorizing it, I am learning that I truly need to cast my cares on Him and He gives me a peace that transcends all understanding. What peace to leave everything in His capable hands! As it says on pg. 55, "obedience is the pathway to freedom." It's wonderful and scary to live in the age of "grace". Wonderful because God does not punish us the way we deserve and scary because we can continue in disobedience and not stop, because we're not punished like we deserve. We are free to choose to disobey, but that will come with consequences, as the author says on pg. 56. On pg. 58 she states that "God is not removed or detached from our problems. He uses pressures and problems to mold and shape our lives and to make us like His Son Jesus, who "learned obedience from what He suffered." Isn't it reassuring to know that God has a reason/purpose for our problems? He sees the big picture and we need to trust Him. :)
Until Chapter 3! Joan

Chapter 3 of Lies

I am posting this early as I will be traveling back to Dallas tomorrow from a nice vacation in NM.

I really enjoyed this chapter and could identify with a lot of things the author wrote. The first lie that spoke to me was #8 I need to learn to love myself. Reading her words made me realize something I already knew but I just didn't want to accept. Now, I don't believe we need to take the truth/lie to the extreme and not spend any time to ourselves or for ourselves, but we do need to be more aware of others. We need to realize that no matter how much time we spend on ourselves or loving ourselves we will never be ready to fully help others. It's true we are selfish people and waiting until we love ourselves enough to be there for others is an unrealistic and foolish line of thinking. It will never happen. As she says, "...we need to give others the same attention and care we naturally give ourselves."

Lie #9 was more of a reinforcement of us being responsible for our own choices. This redeemed the author in my eyes since I had such a hard time with her previous comment about leading others to sin.

Lie #10 was confusing, I am not certain if it is because I have been so influenced by society and expect my rights. However, in my mind I don't think there is anything wrong with expecting your spouse to love you, or to be valued. Sometimes these things have to be worked towards but I don't feel we need to go through life settling for less and allowing ourselves to wallow in self doubt or low self esteem.

Lie #11 I really liked how she pointed out that no where in the bible does it say that outward appearance doesn't matter, but the excessive time spent worrying about beauty is the sin. I had also never thought of a lack of taking care/time of our physical beauty would embarrass our husbands. He's supposed to accept you no matter what but I can see how it would be hard for him to want to go out with you if you are an embarrassment.

Lie #12 about unfulfilled longing was also something that I can find applicable. Too often our society is about instant gratification. My weakness is wanting to buy that book right away and not wait to see if I can get it from the library or wait until the next check. However, I do realize this issue in my life and am sometimes successful with resisting the temptation and waiting until a better time to purchase the item. Learning to live and be content with unfulfilled longing will be harder though. I want what I want now.

Eva Miedema

I hope and pray that everyone in the States had a wonderful American Thanksgiving. Don & I were spoiled by having Charles, Angela & Gabriel come to be with us for 4 days. However, I came down with a 48 hour stomach flu on Thursday, which Charles came down with last night, so they are still here, lol. We pray that he will recover soon, as they need to return to Willmar.

Liew Women Believe:
There wer many areas of bondage which Nancy DeMoss mentioned that I could identify with, if not in my own life, with those whom I am close to, but the one that struck me the most was the Bondage in relation to food. Can you believe that when I was sick, I was still thinking about food, and had to conciously turn my mind to other things?

I do agree with how the world feels that we should have an easy life, that is not fair if things are difficult or disappointments happen.
Pg. 18: Life is hard, but in Christ, we can walk in freedom and true joy, if only you will let Him. Pg. 32 Anytime we receive input that is not consistent with the Word of God, we can be sure satan is trying to decive and destroy us. How we need to be grounded in the Word, studying and mediating on it every day so we can see satan's lies.
Pg. 33 When we are not honest with each other, we actually do satan's work for him, acting as his agents, deciving and destroying each other. It is all too easy to paint a rosy picture, that everything is going fine, but we know that is not true. I find it diffcutl to share what I am honestly feeling, because I don't know the other person; because I don't know if what I confide will stay with them; or if they will judge me; or if they feel they need to solve my problem. When someone shares, it is a priveldge that we need to take to the Lord in prayer, right away, in front of them. Allow the Holy Spirit to do His work, not in or through me the listener, but to the person who is aching inside. And that I find diffiuctl to do too.
Pg. 35 Open your eyes: most people mindlessly accept whatever they hear and see. how true, even Christians when we listen to our pastors every Sunday. Do we challenge what is said, do we compare what we hear to scripture?
Pf. 36 What makes satan's offers os alluring and so deceptive is that they look so right. How true! for the sake of our marriages, we need to stand on guard, stand in the word and stand in prayer.
Enough of quotes from the book and what I think. I am learning from what Nancy DeMoss has to say and want to apply it personally to my life. I look forward to hearing from each of you in the days to come.

Love and prayers, Eva

Lies Women Believe

First I would like to thank everyone for participating in this review blog. I really hope we can enjoy the books and learn a little more about each other. Secondly this has been set up as a book review, no one is required to share their personal struggles or personal walk through the self-improvement books.

Now that's out of the way, here's my personal review for the first bit of the book. :)
The first chapter of this book was hard for me to swallow or agree with the author on one point. She talks on pg 33 about woman buying into the deception of Satan and that we then influence the men around us to sin. For me, the way this is worded, implies lack or accountablety for ones own sin. It says, she sinned so I sinned and doesn't account for your spouses own accountablilty. I am not saying we don't influence those around us but in the end we are accountable for what we have done and can not blame others for our own actions. I then had to take a deep breath and just look at this statement as being written for a book to be read by women and is to be read as a statement to women and not men.

Once I got over that hurdle I began to enjoy the book a lot more. Despite the dramatics of the introduction, it was an eye opener to read the list of lies women believe about God. I have never sat down and pondered the lies I have allowed myself to believe and this was good for me. I haven't struggles with all the lies but the clear way she stated the reasons women believe these lies allowed me to empathize with those who would. I am by no means perfect, I hope I did not imply that with my last sentence. I have however been very blessed in how I was brought up, who I have married and most recently learning all over again to trust God.

I look forward to reading the rest of the book and have my eyes opened to things I had never thought about before. Next Sunday I would like to review chapters 3-4. If you are not able to read that much of the book please feel free to review on the portion you have finished. We have a great list of books to read and I am looking forward to reading the rest of the choices.

Book Reading Order

Book 1- Lies Women Believe: And the Truth that sets them free, Nancy Demoss

Book 2- Grace (Eventually):Thoughts on Faith, Anne Lamott

Book 3- Now Your Speaking My Language, Gary Chapman

Book 4- Serve God, Save the Planet, a Christian Call to action, J. Matthew Sleeth

Book 5- Cultivating Contentment: Growing Through Life's Challenges, Jill Briscoe

Book 6- Captivating, John and Stasi Eldredge

Book 7- Romancing Your Husband: Enjoying a Passionate Life Together by Debra White Smith

Book 8- Living Simply: Choosing Less in a World of More by Joanne Heim

Rachael's Choice

Would like to read Grace Eventually, thoughts on Faith, by Anne Lamott.

Rebecca's Choice

Would like to read Living Simply: Choosing Less in a World of More by Joanne Heim.

Eva's Choice

Would like to read Cultivating Contentment by Jill Briscoe.

Angela's Choice

Would Like to read Romancing Your Husband: Enjoying a Passionate Life Together by Debra White Smith.

Katrina's Choice

Would like to read Lies Women Believe: And the Truth that Sets Them Free by Nancy Leigh DeMoss.